I was once about to write a pun so bad that time travelers showed up and begged me to stop.
Category: humor
Age
I’m not forty. I’m twelve with 28 years of experience.
Puns
I was about to write a pun so bad that time travelers have shown up and begged me to stop.
Oxford comma jokes
OC jokes play on the confusion that would have been fixed by an Oxford comma. For example:
I’d like to thank my parents, the Domino’s delivery guy and the Pope.
My tombstone
I have a few ideas for what I want on my tombstone.
One option: He sold coffin skylights to vampires.
Or: And stay out!
Visual jokes
Here are a few joke images I have made.
Ex-Time Traveler
Did I ever tell you about how I got stuck in the early 21st century?
I used to work for a time travel company, and I kept pulling pranks like:
- I’d’ come back from a trip, and ask to speak to people who didn’t exist,
- Or I’d ask to speak to the aliens who gave us the time machine tech,
- Or I would demand to speak to myself, and insist I was from an alternate timeline. (I managed to keep that joke going for a good ninety minutes.)
- And then there was the time I convinced one of my coworkers I was actually his grandfather.
Alas, no one thought I was funny, and after I pissed off one too many managers, they decided to punish me by exiling me to the early 21st.
That was so mean; no matter what I did, I didn’t deserve that.
Star Wars names
You can find out your Star Wars name by taking your favorite pasta dish and adding a space somewhere in the middle.
Mine is Marin Ara.
Theistcideism
This is when you beleive in a God who once existed but then was all “oh fuck this” and killed itself.
Humanitarian
Few people realize this, but Hannibal Lector was a humanitarian.