How does Harry Potter go down a hill?

He walks. jk. Rolling.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the “p” is silent.

Here’s my new answering machine message:

Thank you for calling Imhof Long Pig BBQ, where our motto is “Soylent Green is just the beginning”.

Q: Why didn’t Karl Marx like Earl Grey?

A: Because all proper tea is theft.