If wishes were horses we would be waist deep in manure.

Most people are like slinkies – they’re not very useful, but they can bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

The accounting system I use in place of a sense of humor was upgraded recently. It now features a bot which can write its own joke.

Here’s one example:

Monday’s child killed the cat.
Friday’s child shall die by the sword.
Nobody’s seen Thursday’s child in months, and there’s a stench coming from the basement.
Wednesday’s child is wearing the skin of Tuesday’s child.