Did I ever tell you about how I got stuck in the early 21st century?
I used to work for a time travel company, and I kept pulling pranks like:
- I’d’ come back from a trip, and ask to speak to people who didn’t exist,
- Or I’d ask to speak to the aliens who gave us the time machine tech,
- Or I would demand to speak to myself, and insist I was from an alternate timeline. (I managed to keep that joke going for a good ninety minutes.)
- And then there was the time I convinced one of my coworkers I was actually his grandfather.
Alas, no one thought I was funny, and after I pissed off one too many managers, they decided to punish me by exiling me to the early 21st.
That was so mean; no matter what I did, I didn’t deserve that.
You can find out your Star Wars name by taking your favorite pasta dish and adding a space somewhere in the middle.
Mine is Marin Ara.
This is when you beleive in a God who once existed but then was all “oh fuck this” and killed itself.
Few people realize this, but Hannibal Lector was a humanitarian.
The following chart inspired me to invent a new variation of the porn star name game.
You Batman villain name is the color of one article of clothing plus yous profession, pet, or last meal. (The original draft only included sock color and profession, but that was too limiting.)
P.S. you get bonus points if you invent a name already on this chart.
click to enlarge
I just came up with a new parlor game like the porn star name game, only this time you are finding the name you would use if you joined organized crime.
I call it your “Lazy Mob Name”, and it is basically any task on your to-do list.
Mine is Mow the lawn.
The tenth Fast and Furious movie is going to be called Fast 10: Your Seat Belts.
What’s your favorite chord?
Hre’s my new phone greeting:
Imhof House of Corners! We’re having a special on tesseracts this week – get a free extra dimension with every order.