I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Ugh. I can’t stand Shakespeare.
His work is bard and he should feel bard.
Show me where Trotsky is buried and I will show you a communist plot.
Did you read about the stolen furniture fence arrested last week?
The police caught him buying hot water beds.
Hanging is a suspended sentence.
Did you hear about the Filipino contortionist?
They called him the Manila folder.
I think the janitors’ union is overdue for sweeping reforms.
An excess of fortitude is called “five-titude”.
What do you call instructions for making beer?
It’s going to be a big letdown when high heels go out of style.